To me, Jonah does not care enough to control Jon outside of what he needs him to do. His need for control is not gratuitous to me; he clearly did not care to keep Gertrude (for example) under his thumb aside from disposing of her when she tried to interfere. He likes to hold things over people but he doesn't care about the minutiae. He's perfectly happy to lean back and watch Jon stumble and fall and pick himself up on his own. It's telling that several of his Marks resulted from his own choices rather than Jonah arranging them ('you should have seen my face when you voluntarily went to him').
Like, I don't think he'd be controlling on an interpersonal level, and not because he is good or has a deep respect for personhood, but simply because he doesn't have to. Similarly, and this is partly the Jonelias soulmatist in me talking, he doesn't need to change who Jon is at his core, so he won't force it. He wants Jon to be someone whose choices (and he wasn't lying when he said that choices made blindly count) lead him to the ritual, and he also wants Jon to be like him, and Jon is both of those things already.